Every piece of new tech seems to encourage the inevitable rise of experts, happy to share information on how to do things properly.

You know, because rules.

This is not a new phenomenon, it’s been happening since Adam was a cowboy. Just the other day, I was generously given a few lessons in how to ‘do’ social media.

In particular, how to make videos, since making online videos, it seems, is different from how making videos used to be. Or, as it turns out, making any sort of messaging at all.

Who knew?

Did I know, for example, that videos online need to hook you in the first 2.5 seconds?

No, I didn’t. But I did wonder how much time a press ad was given to work its magic before you turned the page. Or how much leeway is given before the remote is used to change channels.

About 2.5 seconds if I were to hazard a guess. Maybe less. Move along, nothing to see here.

Surely then, I knew that it would be helpful to put your logo at the front of said video? You know, right at the start, so you’d know who the video was from.

No, I did not know that either.

But I do know - and contrary to what the world’s biggest advertising companies, Meta and Google will tell you - people really don’t like ads all that much. Shocking, I know, but we tend to switch off or turn away when we’re aware of being targeted.

Most of the time the element of surprise is more helpful than loudly announcing your arrival. I know this to be true.

Did I know, that those same companies had data to prove all of this best practice?

Oh my sweet summer child.

The nonsense didn’t stop there either.

More than one online expert asked if I knew that using quick edits would help with pacing? And, did I know that short and sweet is best, since our attention spans are decreasing?

Nup. Didn’t know about those helpful gems.

Neither did Volvo, apparently, as their lovely 4 minute online film suggests.

Did I know about Cap Cut editing software?

No I didn’t. How awfully boomer of me. I had heard about editors though, if that’s of any help.

Plus, I was reasonably sure, that pacing is about more than just speed; it's about rhythm, tension, and narrative. That’s what drives engagement. If you get sucked in, get swept up in the moment - it can feel like it’s moving faster, even if it’s actually longer.

It’s called losing track of time.

There are only two rules worth knowing in this game: getting noticed and being remembered. Neither are new pieces of information - although not that you’d know it.

Both require swimming against the tide. That’s my best practice. That, and remembering that one size rarely fits all.

Still, a worthwhile exercise, as I’m pretty certain at least one lesson got hammered home:

The Emperor’s new clothes are ready.